Nestled deep in the heart of the Ozarks is a funky little gathering spot called Captain Ron's. The attire is everything pirate (perfect for our friend Jana) and John Daly drinks are served up icy cold (perfect for our friend Robin). Ron pipes in sand by the ton to keep a "beach" rockin' and rollin' at the lake. Couple the cool sand with a selection of colorful Adirondack chairs and cup-holding umbrellas and you have the makings of one fine afternoon. Plus, you can busy yourself with awesome quotes from the Captain Ron movie...
The day melted away right before our eyes and we played and laughed (and ate nachos) in the sun until we were ready to go home and bathe our sandy baby. This is probably a good time to warn all of you back home that we will not be returning any skinnier... as if you didn't know that by now.
Back at the ranch, Mark was giving Andrew a bath when from out of nowhere he grabbed the Ivory and took a bite.
Screaming and flailing like a couple of first-time parents, Mark tried everything in the book to get Andrew to open his mouth, but he just swallowed it down and began the gagging/crying process. Panic ensued until Mark turned to Google and discovered that this sort of thing is usually harmless. The always correct Internet recommended that we give the kid some milk and food to help his little tummy feel better, and so we did.
Tonight we are feeling grateful that it was just soap... and thinking of feeding our hungry baby before the bath tomorrow night. Live and learn.
FYI: The Urban Dictionary's Definition of a John Daly:
Like an Arnold Palmer Half and Half (50% Lemonade/50% Iced Tea) but with a twist in the only John Daly Style. Booze is of course added. (Numerous wives and children as well as trips to rehab are your own option)
1 Gallon Iced Tea
1 Gallon Lemonade
1 750ml 110 Proof Vodka
1 Afternoon to Waste.
Man at bar: "My 6th wife left me, I had to take a paternity test today, my rehab sponsor dropped me, and I haven't placed in a golf tournament in years."
Barkeep: "Easy there, Scumbag. I'll fix you a John Daly."
Robin's Note: Sub Sweet Tea Vodka and save yourself some steps. Still need the lemonade and one afternoon to waste.